Arranged marriage vs Love marriage Which is Best ?

Arranged marriage  vs Love marriage

• Arranged marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th century.Typically, marriages were arranged by parents, grandparents or other relatives. Some historical exceptions are known, such as courtship and betrothal rituals during the Renaissance period of Italy. and Gandharva marriages in the Vedic period of India.
  

In China, arranged marriages  sometimes called blind marriages - were the norm before the mid-20th century. A marriage was a negotiation and decision between parents and other older members of two families. The boy and girl were typically told to get married, without a right to consent, even if they had never met each other until the wedding day.

Arranged marriages were the norm in Russia before the early 20th century, most of which were en-dogamous

Until the first half of the 20th century, arranged marriages were common in migrant families in the United States.They were sometimes called picture-bride marriages among Japanese American immigrants because the bride and groom knew each other onsmigrants were typically arranged by parents, or relatives from the country of their origin. As immigrants settled in and melded into a new culture, arranged marriages shifted first to quasi-arranged marriages where parents or friends made introductions and the couple met before the marriage; over time, the marriages among the descendants of these immigrants shifted to autonomous marriages driven by individual's choice, dating and courtship preferences, along with an increase in interracial marriages.Similar historical dynamics are claimed in other parts of the world.

Arranged marriages have declined in prosperous countries with social mobility and increasing individualism; nevertheless, arranged marriages are still seen in countries of Europe and North America, among royal families, aristocrats and minority religious groups such as in placement marriage among Fundamentalist Mormon groups of the United States. In most other parts of the world, arranged marriages continue to varying degrees and increasingly in quasi-arranged form, along with autonomous marriages.

Comparison

• parents or guardians select, the individuals are neither consulted nor have any say before the marriage (forced arranged marriage)Marriages have been categorized into four groups in scholarly studies:
• parents or guardians select, then the individuals are consulted, who consider and consent, and each individual has the power to refuse; sometimes, the individuals meet - in family setting or privately - before engagement and marriage as in shidduch custom among Orthodox Jews
• individuals select, then parents or guardians are consulted, who consider and consent, and where parents or guardians have the power of veto
• individuals select, the parents or guardians are neither consulted nor have any say before the marriage (autonomous marriage)

Gary Lee and Lorene Stone suggest that most adult marriages in recent modern history, are some gradation between extreme example of either ideal arranged or ideal autonomous marriage, in part because marriage is a social institution.^[13] Similarly, Broude and Greene, after studying 142 cultures worldwide, have reported that 130 cultures have elements of arranged marriage.

Extreme examples of forced arranged marriage have been observed in some societies, particularly in child marriages of girls below age 12. Illustrations include vani which is currently seen in some tribal / rural parts of Pakistan, and Shim-pua marriage in Taiwan before the 1970s (Tongyangxi in China).

Types

There are many kinds of arranged marriages, some of these are:

• Arranged  marriage: is one where a third party finds and selects the bride and groom irrespective of their social, economic and cultural group.
• Arranged endogamous marriage: is one where a third party finds and selects the bride and groom from a particular social, economic and cultural group.
• Consanguineous marriage: is a type of arranged endogamous marriage. It is one where the bride and groom share a grandparent or near ancestor. Examples of these include first cousin marriages, uncle-niece marriages, second cousin marriages, and so on. The most common consanguineous marriages are first cousin marriages, followed by second cousin and uncle-niece marriages. Between 25 and 40% of all marriages in parts of Saudi Arabia and Pakistan are first cousin marriages; while overall consanguineous arranged marriages exceed 65 to 80% in various regions of North Africa and Central Asia.

The bride and groom in all of the above types of arranged marriages, usually do have the right to consent; if the bride or the groom or both do not have a right to consent, it is called a forced marriage.

Non-consanguineous arranged marriage is one where the bride and groom do not share a grandparent or near ancestor. This type of arranged marriages is common in Hindu and Buddhist South Asia, Southeast Asia, East Asia and Christian Latin America and sub-Saharan Africa.

Consanguineous marriages are against the law in many parts of United States and Europe. In the United Kingdom, uncle-niece marriages are considered incestuous and are illegal, but cousin marriages are not considered incestuous by the law and are legal, although there have been calls to ban first-cousin marriages due to health concerns. While consanguineous arranged marriages are common and culturally preferred in Islamic countries and migrants from Muslim countries to other parts of the world, they are culturally forbidden or considered undesirable in most Christian, Hindu and Buddhist societies. Consanguineous arranged marriages were common in Jewish communities before the 20th century, but have declined to less than 10% in modern 

Love marriage

in Europe

In 1761, Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote Julie, or the New Heloise. The title is a reference to Peter Abelard, a 12th-century philosopher, who fell in love with his pupil, Héloïse d'Argenteuil. They had a child and secretly married. When Heloise's guardian found this, he had Abelard castrated. The story was well-known at Rousseau's time, after their letter had been published. Rousseau's book, Julie, is about the titular character and her tutor St. Preux. The book is written in the form of letters. Julie's father opposes the relation and marries her to another man, whom he considers more suitable.According to historian Stephanie Coontz, marriages for love and personal reasons began to appear in the 14th century. It began to become popular in the early 17th century.

According to Coontz, the marriages between Anglo-Saxons were organised to establish peace and trading relationships. In the 11th century, marriages were organised on the basis of securing economics advantages or political ties. The wishes of the couples were not considered important. The bride was especially expected to defer to her father's wishes. In 1140, Decretum Gratiani was written by Gratian. It made consent of the couple a requirement for marriage. This book became the foundation of the policy of the Christian Church on marriage.

The marriage of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert also made love marriage more acceptable in the minds of the British public in the Victoria era where love marriages were on the rise.

In India

In India, the term love marriage is used to describe a marriage which is decided upon by the couple, with or without consulting their parents or families. These marriages may breakcaste, community and religion barriers. Social hurdles remain as arranged marriages are preferred over love marriages in most parts of the country.

Love marriage started becoming popular in urban areas in 1970s. Initially, love marriages occurred between acceptable communities. The boundaries between the two types have started to blur. The term love-arranged marriage is used to describe a new emerging form of marriage which contains elements of both arranged marriage and love marriage.Love marriages are seen as imposition of the younger generation's will over the older generation's wishes.

In a 2012 survey conducted by for the TV channel NDTV, 74% of the respondents said that they preferred an arranged marriage.In 2010, the National Commission for Women (NCW) released a report stating that it had documented 326 cases of honour killing in the past year, majority of which were due to Inter-caste marriages.

In a 2014 survey conducted by the United Nations Population Fund and International Center for Research on Women, 11.7% of men and 8.5% of women surveyed claimed that they chose their partners and married with or without the consent of their families.^[1

In Egypt

In Egypt, love marriages, especially interfaith marriages, are generally considered socially unacceptable. Interfaith marriages are often seen as a tactic to recruit members from other religion. Such marriages sometimes result in sectarian violence. According to Egyptian law, a man from another religion must convert to Islam to marry a Muslim woman. However, a Christian woman may marry a Muslim man without converting; but officials require the woman to produce a letter of approval from her church, which is rarely granted.

In Pakistan

In Pakistan, arranged marriages are the norm and love marriage is rare in the society. Several cases of honour killing are recorded every year.In most cases, the woman is killed, however in some cases couples are killed. The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan counted about 869 such cases reported in the media, it noted that many such cases may also be unreported.